Vote Gibbons Out! Jim Gibbons is America's Worst Governor!

1984 Came Early This Year

Everybody feeling safer now that the Nevada Homeland Insecurity folk have given Homeland Insecurity Czar Rick Eaton the boot? (RJ,NevApp)

Boy, I sure am. Especially after reading what a great job the office is doing under the political leadership of our own little Homeland Security Chief, Jimbo Gibbons, or as we like to call him around the 'Monger manse, Dr. StrangeGov:

[HS Chief Commissioner] Carrison said key areas of the critical infrastructure, citizen corps and communication programs have not been progressing adequately and risk losing federal funding.

"On my watch I don't want Nevada giving any of the money back to the federal government because of bureaucratic tangles or the failure of someone to perform," the chairman said.

Whazzat? Another division may lose federal funding due to incompetent leadership? But, but, WHO's responsible??

Carrison said he is less interested in placing blame than he is in fixing the problems. "Let's all get in the boat and row in the same direction," he said.

Carrison said he has no way of objectively judging Eaton's performance, because Eaton did not answer to him.

Hmm. Who does that HS Chief answer to, then? Well, it used to be our man Jimbo, but not anymore, as the Commission moved Homeland Security to the Department of Public Safety, mainly to, according to the Vice Chair, break "the direct connection to Gov. Jim Gibbons."

So, let me get this straight. Homeland Security may be losing funding due to the incompetence of its leadership, so the solution is to distance the department as much as possible from that leadership, i.e., Dr. StrangeGov?

Ahh. Implausible deniability prior to the election. Clever scheme, Doctor!

By the way, have a look at that "Citizen Corps" aka "Citizens Freedom Corps." doc over at the Nevada HS site. It's full of all sorts of helpful things you can do to help out during the war on terror. Like spying on your neighbors.

Course, it's written under the careful leadership of John Ashcroft, so you'd expect stuff like that.

Now, how come Grover Norquist devotees don't volunteer to drown an agency like Homeland Security which nobody would miss very much, anyways?

Hey remember when Public Safety lost a bunch of guns (90 actually) and drugs from the Fallon office? Well, the Attorney General has decided that no criminal charges will be filed in the case, apparently because nobody can quite figure out what the Hell happened. (My4) Just another reason to hand Homeland Security over to Public Safety, right?

My guess about the guns? Dawn's stockpiling guns and blow for a coup d'etat. Hey, can't have a coup without blow.

The Amazing 'Monger's Amazing Predictions for 2010!

Stand back prognosticating- wannabes! Let the real master of futuristic navel-gazing tell you what will really happen in the coming year!

• Chuck Muth, who hates America because he deserted the Nevada Republican Party of purists like me and my pal Jimbo Gibbons, will admit that he is unbalanced! Oh, wait, he already has. Check it out.
• Chuck Muth also expounds--for the 20th time or so--on how Jimbo can get his mojo back. (NN?&V) The only problem: Muth's plan would require the Gube to show up at the office before 2pm. Although...the idea of Gibbons pushing another voter initiative ain't bad. Gibbons always needs one of those to get out the base in close elections. How about one called "Divorce First"? It would require legislators to grant governors unopposed divorces prior to passage of any legislation during the biennial legislative session. It would also allow governors to form a "milf-money" political "action" fund to solicit contributions for the gube's dating expenses.
• Note, too, how naive Chuck is. He's worried about the Gibbons divorce trial being loud and long. Come on. That's what the special session is for: to provide a distraction from the trial.
• Okay, okay. None of those was really a prediction. So, here we go: Review-Journal/Las Vegas Sun will shrink to the size of a postage stamp by November, 2010. Publishers will hand out electron microscopes to the last two remaining subscribers so they can follow the hilarious adventures of Marmaduke.
• Brian Sandoval will be run out of the reconstituted Teabagger-Conservative-Republican Party of Nevada on a rail when a Swedish birth certificate purportedly belonging to the ex-judge appears on the Internets. The name appearing on the document? Sven Hussein Borschtspitzer.
• Police will discover a phone book in a shoebox attached to the gas tank of Rory Reid's Yugo. Suspicions that governor Jim Gibbons was responsible will remain unproven after Sig Rogich takes a short break from designing a "Station-Wagon Sue" bumper sticker and steps in to short-circuit the investigation. Gibbons' alibi? He was searching for his hotel room key card when the shoebox was placed.
• Gibbons' spokester Dan Burns will sue the state's new website on stimulus spending for defamation and calling him a liar. (RJ) The website and Mr. Burns will settle out of court after the governor unilaterally appoints a "website" czar to "fix" the "discrepancy".
• U.S. District Court will not allow Clark County Commissioner Tom Collins to vote on any commission matters in 2010 due to myriad conflicts of interest. (RJ) Mr. Collins will blame it all "on the damn turtles", referring to widespread reports of attacks on construction companies by mutant ninja desert tortoises.

There you have it, and the real 2010 will probably be just as exciting.

Gibbons' Brain: A Telephone Book in a Shoebox

Harry Reid's folks are circulating a press release saying that your governor Jim Gibbons is still making the same claim that the bomb attached to the Reidmobile back in mob days was only a telephone book in a shoebox:

From the release:

Even after Sue Lowden’s and Gov. Jim Gibbons’ false claims about the attempted murder of Senator Reid were debunked time and again with a mountain of evidence to the contrary, Gibbons once again took a page from ally Sue Lowden’s playbook to make the same mindboggling denial a second time.  Despite the numerous media stories, the 1981 police report, and eye witness accounts, Gov. Gibbons lied on Nevada Newsmakers today, stating the car bomb was only a “telephone book” and a “shoe box.”

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Ray. If you read the report, and I hope you read the police report. Did you read it? Did you read it?" said Gibbons on the program. "It didn't say car bomb. It said it was a shoe box with a phone book in it. The last time I defined bomb, it wasn't a shoe box with a phone book in it. If it is, Nextel is a weapon of mass destruction proliferator, because that is not a bomb."

Sigh. You know, I'm really trying my best to help Jimbo survive the primary, but you know, the home office could really do us all a favor by muzzling my pal Jimbo for the next 10 months.

And, jeez, you don't waste the made-up raw meat on the main stream press, guys! You save that for the loony underground. You know, the ones who want to believe again.

[UPDATE: Gube spokesfolk are backpedaling fast. (Sun)]

Wallin Keeps Wailin' on the Gøøber

Nevada Controller and Gibbons' Nemesis Kim Wallin has hired Mary Keating. (AP) Mary Keating was the state worker (allegedly) wrongly fired by Gibbons and his budget director Andrew Clinger cuz she handed out information to a reporter about the Gube's "prolific" sexting on a state phone and cuz she didn't like Clinger's displays of marital groping in the office. Keating is still suing Gibbons and Clinger over the firing.

One wonders if that's the only way to get a job in Nevada these days: by first suing the Gube.

Well, whatever works. Get in line folks. Behind Keating, the groped waitress, and Ferret Lady.

New Republican Gøøblets

• Read 'em and weep, Reid-Republicans! Northern New York state will predict the outcome of the Nevada primaries better than any waffling liberal prognosticators! Dede Scozzafava, forced out of a New York congressional race by a real Republican, is a sign of things to come. Now, Doug Hoffman, strictly speaking, is not a Republican, running instead in the "Conservative" party. Yet his seductive stands on abortion and gay rights--i.e., there ain't any--won the hearts of true believers and impelled Scozzafava to reveal her real lefty ways: she ended up endorsing the Democrat because Hoffman has all those qualities that made Sarah Palin such an enthralling candidate. (CM)
• Needless to say, you don't have to a smarty-pants commie pundit to see that the New Republican party is the Old Republican party, just more so. And, yes, that choking sound you hear is the death rattle of the moderate appeasers in the Nevada Republican party who would try to sell Judge Quitter Liberal McBrylcreem as the savior of the party. We know better. Guys like Doug Hoffman and Jim Gibbons are the real beating heart of the Grand OLD party. Just slice open the corpse of George W. Bush, and there you'll find them.
• Everybody's whining that our boy Jimbo isn't getting that stimulus money out fast enough. (Sun,Sun) It turns out that the Gube's lack of alacrity is simply a ruse to keep unemployment high in Nevada and make Harry Reid look bad for not creating more jobs. What a clever strategy! And it puts Gibbons in the position of hoping the employment numbers get worse! (AP) I can't see any drawbacks to such a clever scheme, can you?
• Who better than an insular governor proclaiming an insulation day? (TIR)
• Ah, yes, it wouldn't be a Nevada Day Parade without politicians jockeying shamelessly for a better spot in line. Not to be outdone, James Tiberius Gibbons took part in the 2006 parade as a congressman, not a gube candidate, so he'd get a better spot. (RGJ)
• Sherman Frederick skeered us all bad a while ago making us think our pal Jimbo has flipped a cog, or simply slipped into a "one and done" stupor. Today, however, Shermy assures us that Gibbons is not dead yet. Sniff! The bit about us owing Gibbons a debt of gratitude really showed Shermy at his poetical best. (RJ)
• He's not dead yet! Gibbons is holding a fund-raiser on Veterans' Day this month and thousands of dollars will be rolling in! (Sun) What better way to show how much we appreciate our Vets than to throw money at the Gibbons' campaign?
• However, the incredibly shrinking Sun, which announced today shrinking columns and, earlier, abandonment of local advertising supplements for Henderson and Boulder City, may soon be.

They Stole His Balloons!!!

The jaded, Gibbons-hating liberal media has stolen Jim Gibbons' balloons!

After mercilessly hounding his chief of staff about her possible violation of the Hatch Act, merely for organizing a fund-raiser for her boss, Robin Reedy has canceled the party. (RGJ)

It boggles the mind how this simple act of generosity by Ms. Reedy could possibly be considered illegal.

Just look what the Act prohibits: it prohibits a public official from using "official authority or influence to interfere with or affect the results of an election or nomination." (HatchAct)

How could anyone in their right mind interpret organizing a fund raiser by the governor's chief of staff, a public official of the great state of Nevada, as using her "official authority" to "affect the results of an election or nomination"??

Since when did fund-raising "affect the results of an election"? Well? And who could possibly think that by attending the party, they may gain special access to the governor? Or that by failing to attend, they might get shut out of the manse?

Complete balderdash!

And look at this bit of the Hatch Act, which prohibits a public official from "directly or indirectly" coercing "contributions from subordinates in support of a political party or candidate." No doubt a liberal Democrat might wonder if gubes's deputy chief of staff running the campaign website indicates any such coercion going on in the governor's mansion.

All I can say is, how dare you, jaded liberal Democrats! Just because there is an appearance of unethical and possibly illegal activity going on in the Gube keep, doesn't mean it really is.

Sometimes you just have to believe in your leaders. Just look at the campaign site--the one created by a a state worker, her salary paid for with your fine tax dollars. IT says Gibbons is a good man.

You see? All you have to do is believe, again!

[UPDATE: See? See? If you try hard enough, you can explain it all away! (RGJ) Just believe, again!]

Car Bombings ARE Funny if Democrats Blow Up

Now that I'm an official Nevada Republican*, unlike backstabbers like Chuck Muth, I've had a complete change of perspective about all sorts of things, including humor.

Take the illustration to the right.

it is totally tasteless and not a bit funny. Depicting the senseless car bombing of a serious candidate for the United States Senate is just beyond all bounds of civil discourse and entirely inappropriate.

Even the sudden appearance of a napkin hat cannot save this pathetic display.

But, wait. Now picture the Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Lowden's place. Har, har, har! Now, THAT's funny! Good times, boy howdy! Especially the napkin hat!

Why just ask my old pal and defender of true American values Jim Gibbons. Why, he, apparently, sat idly by at a radio talk show where everyone was making fun of the Harry Reid car bombing and said that the bomb was just a "telephone book in a shoebox." (RJ--click the audio link in the left sidebar)

Har, har! Telephone book in a shoebox!

It's funny because our silly liberal leaning law enforcement community took that bomb threat seriously:

Las Vegas police spokesman Bill Cassell confirmed the existence of a device "hooked from the engine to the fuel tank."

The device "was designed to make the car explode," he said.

When asked about the theory that the wiring was a stereo hookup, Cassell said, "it is not included in the report."

News stories from 1981 also contradict claims law enforcement took the incident lightly.

In a Review-Journal story, Lt. Don Simon of the Metropolitan Police Department's Intelligence Bureau stated that someone removed a spark plug in Reid's engine and extended a wire to the gas tank in an attempt to make the car blow up when started.

A story in the Las Vegas Sun stated, "Officers described the device in Reid's car as, 'a crude bomb trigger, but one that could work if a spark had reached the gas tank.' "

A story in the Nevada State Journal from Reno began, "An apparent murder attempt was uncovered when former Gaming Commission Chairman Harry Reid discovered his car was rigged to explode, police said Thursday."

When asked whether she was aware of news accounts of the incident, [true patriot and car bomb-fetishist Heidi] Harris said, "All I'm doing is raising questions. I'm not an investigative reporter. I don't have time to spend hours of my life digging up old police reports." (RJ)

Damn straight Ms. Harris is "not an investigative reporter!" True radio patriots fighting for the just cause of Nevada Republikanism don't need FACTS! All they have to do is BELIEVE AGAIN!

And aren't you glad law enforcement didn't take Gibbons' waitress-socking as serious?

So, look, the highest official in the state, the governor, says the Harry Reid bombing was fake and a fit object for ridicule. Take that, naysayer wimp Democrats! Car bombing Democrats IS funny! Q.E.D.

No doubt the governor will be coming out with new guidelines for bomb threats, such as suggesting that if anything looks like a bomb, kick it hard first to make sure it isn't a fake before wasting law enforcement's precious time. After all, public safety will probably be looking at force cutbacks soon as the economy continues to tank. Can't have them answering every little old bomb threat.

All the more reason to make government more efficient, by, say, letting the gube chief of staff run campaign fundraisers. Oh wait, here come the whiners!

A chief of staff is “too close to the governor,” said Fred Lokken, a professor of political science at Truckee Meadows Community College. “You can’t help but have this interpreted as buying favor and influence,” he added.

The problem with the chief of staff hosting a fundraiser, Lokken said, is this: Those who don’t show up could imagine having less access to the administration. Those who do will be perceived from the outside as trying to buy influence. “You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It puts everybody in an extremely awkward situation,” Lokken said. (Sun)

Jim Gibbons place "everybody in an extremely awkward situation”? How can the Sun even consider such an everyday occurrence to be news?

No doubt "everybody" thinks that Gibbons' tendency to hire a slew of people who are either running for office or planning on it an indication that he considers politics more important than competency. True believers, however, recognize a heroic effort to shrink government by reducing the silly line liberal pantywaists would like to draw between the political and official functions of elected officials.

Why, that's almost as silly as thinking there's a line between church and state. Who comes up with those ideas, anyway?

Probably the same sort of people who don't find car bombs funny.

---------------

*I can show you my registration card to prove it!

He's Not Dead Yet

Now that I'm a Nevada Republican, and a true believer like my pal Jimbo in the central core of goofiness that lives inside the party like a tumor, I am deeply offended by Quitter Sandoval's lame-o campaign slogan: "A reason to believe again." (VT&S)

We Nevada Republicans have plenty to believe in already, thank  you Mr. Messiah-wannabe Sandoval. We already believe in "no new taxes" and, um, "no new taxes." Oh, and no new fees, too. Except on hotel rooms. Oh yeah, just don't ask us to put that in writing.

Still, what else is there to believe in, for Nevada Republicans? Why, Jim Gibbons has single handedly dismantled Nevada State government like no governor before him, and yet everyone is sitting around wondering what he has accomplished during his first term as gube. He's done most everything the small government party of Ronald Reagan has ever wanted. The gum'ment has been drowned in the bathtub.

All that disengagment and skirt-chasing has paid off, big time!

So, what's Sandoval got for us true believers to believe in? Government giveaways? Big government in the medicine cabinet?

Or maybe he'd like us to believe in that trick from 2003 when as Attorney General he tried to undermine the Gibbers' supermajority requirement on tax bills in the Nevada Legislature by allowing some tax bills to pass on a simple majority. Woah, talk about judicial activism! Even folks in favor of the new taxes back then thought the Nevada Supreme Court, at Sandoval's instigation, was way out of line on that one.

Woah, he tried to make us believe that 1/2 = 2/3rds! Now, there's a miracle!

I wonder if they'll teach that in math class?

Ooo. I can't believe I just made a link to Glenn Cook. Boy, I'd never have done that if I were still a wimpoid Democrat.

Speaking of Jimbo, tho, I've come up with the campaign's slogan:

Call me, Dan-o! You know that's the best you can do!

Las Vegas Ain't No Place for Wimpy Prussian Ethics Perfessers

Well, that certainly cleared a lot of things up! The Review-Journal, which was oddly worried in the hardcopy edition about "civility" in political discourse today--a position that so obviously contradicts the editorial policies of the paper that one could only spew one's morning coffee upon reading it--tells us that the real reason for supporting local charities is to hook up with power players. (RJ)

Ah, yes, do good only if you can get personal gain out of it. Surely the Vegas golden rule.

No doubt dear old Immanuel Kant was a-spinning in his grave. One of his pet peeves was folks who think you should only do good stuff if you figure you'll get something out of it. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy sums up of the point nicely:

[P]ossessing and maintaining one's moral goodness is the very condition under which anything else is worth having or pursuing. Intelligence and even pleasure are worth having only on the condition that they do not require giving up one's fundamental moral convictions. The value of a good will thus cannot be that it secures certain valuable ends, whether of our own or of others, since their value is entirely conditional on our possessing and maintaining a good will. Indeed, since it is good under any condition, its goodness must not depend on any particular conditions obtaining. Thus, Kant points out that a good will must then also be good in itself and not in virtue of its relationship to other things such as the agent's own happiness or overall welfare. (SEP)

But then, using Sig "Wille Horton/Anoint Gibbons" Rogich as an example of a "successful" Nevadan doing "good works" is sorta like putting up Satan as an example of an angel. Arguably true, but still, you've got to be kidding.

Jim Gibbons Remains Beacon of Hope for Democratic, I Mean, Republican Party, Pundit Says, Sorta

Up on northern Nevada TeeVee, they're saying that Jim Gibbons remains a beacon of hope for the core true believers of the Nevada Republican party. You know, guys like me and Jimbo:

One elected Democrat who wished to stay anonymous told us, "enthusiasm among the base is very low. Maybe it'll get better but right now it's not there, and everyone pretty much agrees that [Republican frontrunner Brian] Sandoval will run away with it."

[Eric who used to be a Gibbons apologist but now is just one big sellout to the Liberal wing of the Nevada Republican Party] Herzik says if they aren't entusiastic [sic] about Rory Reid, many Democrats would pick Sandoval for Governor even if they do vote to keep Harry Reid in the Senate.

"Nevadans have not been shy about splitting their tickets before."

That is if Sandoval gets the Republican nomination.

His biggest challenge - believe it or not - could come from current Governor Jim Gibbons.

"I don't see how he's going to have money to mount a campaign, but in a sense that hasn't stopped him before," says Herzik.

Gibbons may be the least popular governor in Nevada history, but the relatively few that do support him are thrilled with his anti-tax stance. They also do one other thing: vote. Always.

In a Republican primary, the most conservative voters tend to have a better turnout than moderates. (KTVN)

Hey, haven't I been saying that Jimbo will win the hearts and minds of the true core of Nevada Republicans? Quitter McBrylcreem just ain't got the crazy.

And just listen to the whiny dems! Hey, you've voted for conservatives who fooled you into thinking they're progressives lots of times! Think Barack and Harry. Can Jimbo and I help it if you don't have the balls to vote for candidates who represent the party's core values?

Still, everybody better hurry and join the Nevada Republicans before they're as boring as the Dems!

Put Gibbons In Your Pants!

It's very liberating now that I'm officially a Nevada Republican. I get to be racist, call health-care reformers granny-killers, and support the absolute right-to-life of human fetuses, by which I mean a right-to-life more absoluter than any old human female's, destined a they are by Jesus to be Phyllis Shafly Stepford Wives' baby-making machines.

I'm sure that's in the State party's planks somewheres.

Anyway, wasn't it enlightening to hear something true from governor Jim Gibbons yesterday? He said that the Federal Gum'ment shouldn't be in your medicine cabinet. (Sun) Now, isn't that smart, because, you know, you'd never be able to fit it all in there. Why, Antonin Scalia would take up most of the space himself, and that'd be after you shoved his butt in there.

No doubt this was the governor's way of coming out solidly against Medicare, which stuffs drugs into old folks' medicine cabinets. I mean, that follows, don't it, from saying the Fed's shouldn't be in your medicine cabinet? And, he'll be shutting down all those Fed pill subsidies he was pushing a couple of years ago, too, right?

Can't wait to see this on the governor's website: "Gibbons Against Medicare!" That'll wakeup those RINO's in Incline Village! You know, the wimps who aren't True Republicans, like Jim and me.

And people say Gibbons is dumb. Well what about this Gibb-ism: “I have a hard time remembering when anything as important as health care was ever improved by having the federal government involved.” How true! Just think how badly World War II turned out with all that federal government involvement! And that National Guard Gibbons used to fly planes for? Total disaster, right? Man, just list 'em! Louisiana Purchase, Bill of Rights, Emancipation Proclamation. All Federal Government disasters!

That's what he meant, right?

Say, now there's a prize! Forget Fedgov in your med cabinet; you can have Gibbons in your pants!

You can WIN GIBBONS if you put up enough money to win him at a bachelor's auction! (RGJ) Um, no, I guess you'll have to share him with 11 other gals--um, I suppose it's just gals (sorry to all of Jim's gay pals!)--because, you know, Jim never could settle for just one.

And I don't want to hear any carping about Jim not being an official bachelor and all. I'm sure the diabetes foundation that will benefit from the auction really meant to call it a Bachelor and Cheating Hubby-Skanktard Auction. But, you know what, how can you fit all that on a banner?

Don't forget, fellow Nevadans! You too can stop all that frettin' and worryin' and thinkin' and be more like me and Jim. Become a Nevada Republican!

Rory Reid Over the Hump in Pahrump

WHAT: Rory Reid Heads to Pahrump House Party: Candidate to visit Nye County on Wednesday.

WHEN: Wednesday, October 21, at 6 p.m.

WHERE: 5561 Genoa Ave., near Route 160 and East Country Place Road

View Larger Map

"You Could Run Mickey Mouse Against Him, and Mickey Would Win."

"Gibbons is dead because Gibbons is dead. You could run Mickey Mouse against him, and Mickey would win." -- Brad Coke -- Mason-Dixon pollster, summing up Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons' recent showing in a Review-Journal poll. (RJ)

Frankly, that doesn't seem to be a problem. Plenty of Mickeys to go around.

It's Mouse Ears vs. Napkin Hats! Bring it on!

I bet you that South Park Mickey Mouse would really do a job on old Napkin Hat. Say, you don't think they modeled him on some ex-Mob Lawyer, do ya?

Special Announcement! Time for Drastic Measures to Save Our Gibby!

Okay, Comrades. The nonsense and idiocy has got to stop.

I mean the nonsense and idiocy that would drive nonsense and idiocy from the Nevada Republican Party. More specifically, I mean the central core of nonsense and idiocy lurking at the very heart of Nevada Republicanism, James Tiberius Gibbons.

What with threats of slick-haired/quitter moderates infiltrating the Republican party ranks while the fetid core of the party dwindles away, the time has come for the 'Monger to make the ultimate sacrifice to help drag the Gøøber into the general election.

Yes, friends, I am pulling an anti-Muth: I have changed the party affiliation on my Nevada registration to Republican and I plan to vote for Jim Gibbons in the primary.

Yes, you read it here first, friends. I publicly and freely announce that I am now officially a member of the Nevada Republican Party, and I will, repeat, will be voting for Jim Gibbons in the primary.

Don't try to talk me out of it, Comrades. The Gibbers' recently reported wretched polling and the rise of fake Republicans who feebly and faintly reject the no-taxes, no-nothing core of Nevada Republicanism have forced my hand.

To save the NVRep party from itself and to fight its rejection of the man who most imminently and thoroughly represents its core values, I must take these radical steps.

I cannot proceed on this difficult road alone, however. Thus I must ask you, Comrades, to follow me on this most difficult of journeys. I must ask you to change your party affiliation with the Clark County registrar, if you aren't already batshit crazy to belong to it already, and pledge to vote for Jim Gibbons in the primary.

The first, small step, is to join the facebook group Nevada Republicans in Registration Only (RIROs). Everybody knows how effective that will be. And then be sure to invite all your friends. Everybody loves to be invited to stuff on Facebook! My friends over there will no doubt be thrilled when I invite all of them.

Bear in mind that the Democratic primary is going to be a pretty lame affair. Oh, my! Such a wide range of choices for their Governor and Senate candidates! Shall I pick a Reid or a Reid?

But the Republican primary! Wow! Look at all those Senate choices! I mean, how can one decide between minime Tark and Mark Nevada Mining Association Amodei? They both epitomize Nevada Republican values so well! And Sharron Angle. Sharron F-in' Angle. Man, who gets a chance to vote for HER as a dem?

Most importantly, Comrades, we must give the Nevada electorate as a whole, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Green Party, or whatever that other one is from up North, a chance to vote and voice their opinion about Jim Gibbons. Don't let the Republican party steal that opportunity from you, as they have done with so many others.

So, come aboard Comrades! You're friends may shun you, and your family call for professional help, but do you have what it takes to be a Nevada RIRO for Jimbo?

More Rory Reid Barbecuing in Vegas Sunday

WHAT: Barbecue for Rory Reid's Gubernatorial Campaign

WHERE: Justice Myron E. Leavitt Family Park (formerly known as Jaycee Park) near Eastern and East St. Louis avenues, Las Vegas, NV.

WHEN: Sunday, October 18, 4pm. Rory Reid will have brief remarks at 5pm.

I had one of them spicy hamburgers at the Wednesday shindig, and they aren't too bad. Could use some jalapeños, though. Course, he may ask you to pay for that burger, eventually.

Up in the right hand corner of this blog is a link to that vision thing, which may have a couple conflicts with the state constitution. (Sun) But, you know what? That constitution's been changed more than Gibbons texts galpals. So, what's new?

View Larger Map

So, Who Wants to Hug Tom Collins?

So here's Clark County Commissioner Tom Collins, expressing his excitement with the thought Clark County won't be caring for abandoned desert tortoises anymore and his hatred of all small animals getting in the way of unrestricted development:

“This is almost like tree-hugger frustration. Can’t find no trees to protect in the desert so it’s tortoises.” (Sun)

Anybody know why he doesn't switch to the Republican party? Anyone?

Oh, yeah, about that. Watch this space for a dramatic announcement. Well, an announcement, anyways.

Though I must admit it's fascinating how everyone who was either agin or sitting on the fence about that Tule Springs park is on board now:

In mid-August, the Sun wrote about the National Parks Conservation Association joining the push to designate about 35,000 fossil-filled acres in the northern portion of the Las Vegas Valley as a national monument. [...]

A lot has been going on behind the scenes. Commissioner Tom Collins is close to finishing the wording on a county resolution urging federal authorities to preserve the area because it has the potential to be an educational and economic dynamo.

Additionally, North Las Vegas Mayor Shari Buck, whose city is “highly in favor” of the designation, said she met two weeks ago with staff of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., regarding the Tule Springs area. She said Sen. John Ensign, R-Nev., has also expressed “great interest.” This week, she plans to meet with Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman and Las Vegas Councilman Steve Ross to “hear what their concerns might be ... because I’m assuming there’s going to be a partnership and we want to be supporting each other.” (Sun)

Hmm. A little call from the feds and all the sudden everybody's in favor of the park, and talk of a fat new highway north of the 215 seems to have vanished.

Looks like the desert tortoise needs better connections inside the Obama administration.

Cross posted from Nor'Town.

Opposite Man

Nevada governor Jim Gibbons felt it necessary to contradict his own lawyer yesterday after said lawyer, rightly concerned with the limited prospects of his client, asserted

“At this time, persons who claim some expertise in the field predict his employment will end January 2011,” Gibbons’ lawyer wrote. (RGJ)

No doubt Gibbons' lawyer was making the point to try to cut off the Enraged Ferret's access to Jimbo's assets, even though the gube is probably double and triple dipping off of many a big government retirement account, which will be quite intact even after he's safely put out to pasture at the cattle "ranch" in Elko.

Yes, dear friends, big government is okay as long as it profits the Gibbers directly, just one of many opposites embodied in our own, homegrown opposite man.

Yet Jimbo's response--"Quite the opposite"--had all the opacity and milkiness that has become the earmark of his sybylline murmurings. What did he mean? That experts DON'T predict he'll be kicked out of office in January 2011? Or was he insinuating that his successor will "pull a Gibbons" and awake at midnight to hastily take the oath of office just to insure Gibbons' reign of boobosity doesn't ooze into even a second of 2011?

Still the prospect that the Gibbons' campaign won't even survive the primary is still disturbing. Every Nevadan, even Democrats and Independents, deserve an opportunity to be an opposite man or woman as far as the Gube is concerned.

But more about that later.

Cover Up the Divorce Media Tour

Watch the Gøøber beg you not to hold him responsible for his record and other things "beyond his control."

Watch him say, with a straight face: "What we did was right!"

And then we learn of a strange new group of people called "TeeVee Readers." Eh, don't ask.

Post-Christmas Special Session Coming, I'm Guessing

That special session of the legislature that is so, so necessary for plugging up holes in the budget is pretty much a sure thing, I'm guessing, now that Jim and Dawn will going to trial over Jimbo's inability to keep it zipped up. (RJ)

Hope Legislators won't mind meeting between Christmas and New Year's cuz the trial starts December 28th, and that's when the Gube will be needing the most cover. Especially if his legion of paramours will be testifying in Dawn's behalf.

Bring a warm coat, guys and dolls.

And didn't Dawn have a slick response for not getting a job like the judge ordered? She can't because her estranged husband has turned Nevada into a job-seekers hell hole and turned all her connected friends against her. Thanks, Jim!

What, no positions open at Sierra Nevada Corp.?

[UPDATE:

In the first lady's settlement proposal, Dunlap said soon after being elected governor, Gibbons "began his clandestine plan to acquire his retirement nest (the Lamoille property) and to shed his wife."

Gibbons never disclosed to her that he had secured a loan to buy the property and that he plans to spend his time with "some of his many lady friends" there, Dunlap said. (RJ)]

Yep, He's Still Gube Gøøblets

• The likelihood of a special session of the Legislature later this year probably will be determined today as Jim Gibbons and the lady he calls "Enraged Ferret" meet to determine who gets what from the family millions as part of the divorce settlement. (RJ) Come on, Dawn: hold out for that Elko land that got Gibbons all entangled with the revenooers. It has sentimental value to all us'n Gøøb-watchers. Besides, we're all looking forward to that legislative session to cover up the divorce trial. Don't let us down now! And: think of the children! You know, all the Gibbons children that are all grown up.
• Extra points go the Review-Journal for still calling Dawn the "estranged" wife despite the fact Jimbo instigated divorce proceedings and nobody is stranger than he! (RJ)
• Gibbons votes against a tax study because he thinks he knows what's in the study even before even one word has been written in it. Demagoguery makes all that readin' and studyin' stuff so superfluous, don't it?
• Desert Beacon reminds us that Gibbons' new energy czar helped Gibbons fight all those global warming rumors, back in the day. (DB) Gee, has it only been two years since that happened?
• AH HA! Gibbons DOES have a plan to raise taxes, and it's called "home rule." (AP) What a clever way to get around Gibbons' 2/3 majority requirement to raise taxes in the legislature!
• Gibbons won't appoint himself or Brian Sandoval if John Ensign decides to zip up and leave the Senate. (RGJ,RJ) I'm guessing that leaves Sharron Angle at the top of the list.
• Dow Jones over 10,000; Wall Street types to get bonuses as high as in 2007. Aren't you glad you bailed those guys out? Why don't you send them your unemployment check, too, just as a token of your esteem?
• Watch this space for a dramatic announcement!

Tired of Gøøblets? Rory Reid announces bid for Gube in Las Vegas and Reno.